The Ape in the Mirror

As I reflect, I realise that is what a lot of my life has been about.

I was a latchkey kid. I was privately educated and very well rewarded in this department, but a latchkey kid just the same. That meant I had to use my ‘nonce’ to work things out for myself. In many cases I did this by the principle of ‘monkey see, monkey do’. I aped the efforts of others.

In relationships, once I had failed miserably using my own instinctual devices I adopted the survival technique I used in the facets of my life where I was successful. Mimicry then made relationships possible.

There is a fundamental flaw though. When you mimic someone, you mimic them. You copy their defective behaviour as well as the good bits. It’s only a matter of time before Dorian Grey is staring back at you.

That’s when the cracks show. It doesn’t matter which partner bowls the first strike the game will be over soon enough.

Wisdom is not easily won. I for sure haven’t got very much. I do though have ears. In the past I only used my eyes. That is what the copycat theory relies upon. But when the blind are leading the partially sighted then it’s inevitable that there will be a lot of stumbling and failure.

A light went on in my head recently. I know, thought I, I’ll clear the wax from my ears. Boy I am glad I did. I have the ability to hear at long last.

I was reminded by a spiritually adept person on the degrees and principles of love. They are romance, care and devotion. As a one time Samaritan I knew they taught this as the principles and degrees concerning depth of listening. Fascinating people are these Samaritans. All the destruction of life on the end of a phone and all they do is use their ears to listen. As a Samaritan I was a complete failure.

Maybe it’s time for Mister October to re-evaluate that.